Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
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