dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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