I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
