I wanna passion pit in your ass
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
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Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
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There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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