...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
