Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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