Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
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