she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
