omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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