Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize