My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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