I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
love makes seman taste better
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
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creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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