So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
