I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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