His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
