His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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