Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
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Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
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Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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