Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize