That's when you crack a 10am beer
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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