Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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