1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
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