I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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