Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina is officially offended.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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