New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
