She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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