PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
