Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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