We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
You can't just leave with hair like that
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Randomize
