My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
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We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
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Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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