you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize