Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize