How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
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Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize