I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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