You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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