ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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