just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
