you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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