So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
