I wish I could teleport
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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