Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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