Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
i think i just lost a toe
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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