plz talk dirty to me
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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