BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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