He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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