A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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