Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Randomize
