She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
