i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
