hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Best friends brother. Beat that.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Randomize
