and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
