Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
