Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
