Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
