trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
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