i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
