That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
