dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
