So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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