Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
