Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
