Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Randomize
