just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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