You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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